America’s Putin?

He’s got the whole world in his hands…he’s got the far right and fake news, in his hands, he’s got the far right and fake news in his hands…

Yes, through his iron grip on the largest country on the planet, Putin has parlayed his control over his people into a play to remake global politics.  He has made himself and his cronies rich, and Trump fancies himself a leader in this fashion, but one thing I cling to is that we here in the US don’t have the long history of repressive, authoritarian regimes that the Russians have had.  A susceptibility to con men, yes, but the majority of white people are too used to being able to complain loudly when they feel their rights are being infringed upon.  So I keep the hope up even as a nincompoop is put in charge of educating our children.

Vladimir Putin

Vladimir Putin. Vladimir.  Vlad.  The name and the visage evoke that notorious Transylvanian, Vlad the Impaler:

But where Vlad ruled with terror, Vladimir rules with a dynamism that would make Machiavelli proud.

Think what you will about him, the man has skills…I mean, what world leader would let himself get photographed like this?

WOW!!! Look at his pecs!  Those biceps!  That back fat!  The dreamy bedroom eyes…A pinup of an oligarch, a Russian Orthodox dreamboat, and ladies, would you believe he’s back on the market as of 2014???  Since America’s 2016 election, the world’s most powerful man, this eligible bachelor likes the outdoors, judo, dogs, and global hegemony.

In power since 1999, Vladimir is doubtlessly one of the most intelligent and cunning world dict…leaders of the modern era.  With Russian fingerprints found all over Brexit, the victory of Donald Trump, and on the candidacy of France’s Marie Le Pen, he’s been a busy beaver these past couple years, hard at work destabilizing powerful Western governments.

What, you might ask, is the personal M.O. of this man who disdains human rights and has minimal use for objective truth?   I suspect power for power’s sake, money for money’s sake, and retribution for the fall of the Soviet Union, but who knows?  The man is a 21st century sphinx.  With Russian trolls already sending me emails from friends’ accounts,  inviting me to click on links that end in .ru, he and the government he leads give me the creeps.  Still, what kind of world would it be if I, a lowly and powerless citizen of a country that supposedly protects free speech, couldn’t post my thoughts about one of the world’s most powerful men?

Putin’s Pupil

Vladimir Putin may not technically be a dictator, but having becoming Prime Minister of the Russian Federation in 1999, he has since then found ways of keeping himself in power despite term limits.  He is an autocrat in nature, a president in name, and understanding him will help us Americans in understanding the president-elect.  Putin’s cronyism, restriction of the free press, jailing of those who would speak up against him, persecution of LGBTQ persons,  war-mongering and general authoritarianism give us insight into what a Trump regime would look like.  Let’s begin looking into Putin to see what we have to look forward to…

Dark Days for the USA

I began this blog as a bit of a joke, a way to lightly explore my long fascination with the dark side of society.  It quickly became too grim for me to keep up.  Since the election of 2016, I feel that starting to post again is a tiny, tiny way that I can push back against a president-elect that shares many similar traits to the tyrants of dictatorships and fascist societies of the past and present.  Let us hope that the checks and balances that our founders put into place, and the conscious of the more moderate of the ruling Republican party can keep the DT from going down the path of authoritarianism.

Onward!

Kim Jong-un and Hollywood

God Bless you, Kim Jong-un. You are too ripe for comment to move on to other dictators that quickly.

The Guardian this morning contains the headline: “North Korea threatens ‘merciless’ response over Seth Rogen film: Country wants film about attempt to assassinate Kim Jong-un banned and says failure to stop its release will be ‘act of war'”

Whoa! Let’s see the trailer of the movie itself:

Ok, I can see how maybe it might be taken the wrong way if you’re a narcissistic despot with low self-esteem and no ability to laugh at yourself. The Kims are not widely known for their self-deprecation. Otherwise, I would think being portrayed as such would be somewhat…flattering. I mean, what whack dictator could resist the urge to preen himself, just a little, when his country is cited as “one of the most dangerous countries on Earth”, especially when the comment is coming from America itself? I would think that since half the propaganda campaign of North Korea is directed against the US, and how they seem to long to be taken as a serious threat by us, that this would be taken as validation.

So, how best to counter this image of a bloated tyrant who needs to be taken down? I know! Get your picture taken aboard a submarine. This way the Evil American Empire will know that you mean business, and that the threats issued in response to the film are not the usual quasi-hysterical cry for attention, but the real deal.

I will be waiting with anticipation for the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea’s next move.

Oyster Mushrooms for All!

Wonderful news mushroom lovers!

Kim Jong-un and his oysters

North Korea has opened a new Central Mushroom Research Institute in Pyongyang, whose unstated mission is saving them all from the possibility of food shortage and poor farming techniques!

The first product on their list of innovations to-come is a mushroom based sports energy drink. As the Guardian says: “The report does not explain how the drink’s health benefits work, when it will be made widely available, or how it tastes.”

Not important when critical feedback is outlawed!

Anyway, instead of relaxing their isolationism and allowing even a quasi-free trade to open up and an end of sanctions, thus deceasing the chances of future famine for the masses, North Korea had decided to turn to mushrooms to save their population from malnutrition. What will those crazy dreamers in Pyongyang come up with next? Not surprisingly, there is a thriving black market for food, most popular of which is the South Korean Choco-Pie. Hmm…weird mushroom drink or choco-pie…let me think about this for a while…

One wonders what other innovations they will come up with next. Magic mushrooms in the water that make the general population believe that Kim Jong-un is a demi-god instead of an overweight baby-face with a bad haircut? Oh, wait, the brainwashing of a couple of generations has already taken care of that.

Now, now, don’t cry Kim Jong-un, I didn’t mean it. Just sip some more of the mushroom drink, take a nibble of your choco pie, and all feelings of inferiority will go away as your lackeys do your every bidding and your country worships you. Go pay another basketball has-been to be your friend– that made you feel better last time, right? I hear Shaq needs some extra cash.

A musical treat

This week in sensational non-news from Hermit Kingdom:

“The reportedly executed ex-lover of Kim Jong Un seems to be very much alive”

Thank you, North Korea, for providing journalists with the opportunity to write such headlines. It’s like a soap opera encapsulated in 13 words.

The singer Hyon Song-wol appeared on state-run television, expressing gratitude for Kim Jong-un’s leadership and pledged to work harder to “stoke up the flame for art and creative work”.

What this does not discount are the rumors that Hyon Song-wol and North Korean first lady Ri Sol-ju are the same person. Note she appeared on television, not in person, and that the two still have not been seen in the same place at the same time. Nor are there any pictures of this television broadcast. If these so-called journalists had done their research and looked at Wikipedia, not to mention this blog, they would have realized the convoluted potential truth is that pop singer Hyon Song-wol wasn’t dead, only that her band had been killed, while she herself went on to become the first lady of North Korea, Ri Sol-ju. The NY Daily News reporter, as well the reporter at the Guardian, are silent on this aspect of the story, which leads me to think that they haven’t been paying proper attention to their North Korea gossip.

The Huffington Post was the only news source to do its job and add potentially new information to this story: “The reports she had been executed suggested it was carried out because Ri Sol Ju, Kim’s wife, who was also an entertainer and member of the Unhasi Orchestra with Hyon, objected to her continuing high profile.”

The lucky fall-out of this story is that a music video of one of Hyon’s hit, “The Most Excellent Horse-like Lady” has found its way to this blog. This masterpiece of stultifying creativity may arouse new sympathy for the people of North Korea when you realize this kind of drivel is forced down their throats 24/7. Enjoy!

Kim Jong-il’s secret identity

According to a Japanese professor, Kim Jong-il did not, in fact, die in 2011, but rather in 2003 from diabetes. Now, I don’t know about you, but between the big hair, the glasses, and the stiff-collared uniform, I can see how it would be easy enough to substitute a look-alike for the real thing.

Add to this, according to Russian files, Mr. “Kim Jong-il” was born Yuri Irsenovich Kim in the former Soviet Union, as opposed to Baekdu Mountain in North Korea, where his official biography says his birth was foretold by a swallow, and heralded by a double rainbow (or was it a triple rainbow?), and a new star in the heavens.

So who is the real Kim Jong-il, I mean, Yuri Irsenovich? Look at enough pictures of the man, and even though many people derided the Japanese professor when he first came out with this theory, you can start to see his point:

The Sushi Chef

At once the most and least glamorous job in the world, Kenji Fujimoto was at one time the personal sushi chef and food go-fer for Kim Jong-il. The son of a violent drunk, his temperament suited him to work for one of the world’s most dangerous narcissists.

There is a GQ article about him online, but I’ll save you the trouble and re-cap a few of the highlights:
–Mr. Fujimoto would fly around the world to procure food for Mr. Kim, including stocking up on $700,000/year worth of cognac from France
–Mr. Kim was never called by his name, to do so could be punishable by death. Instead, he was called “Shogun-sama”.
–Mr. Kim kidnapped and held a South Korean film actress as his mistress for eight years. This is on top of the other, non-famous, women he kidnapped from around Asia. For a time. Before he switched to young North Korean girls.
–Mr. Kim only ate perfectly shaped rice, and had a team of about 200 people to inspect every aspect of his food each day.
–When famine started in North Korea in the 1990s, Mr. Kim had his agricultural minister shot. When it the famine got worse, he exhumed the body and had it shot again.

Kim Jong-un’s wife

The nice thing about being a dictator is that you don’t have to be even remotely attractive to have a beautiful wife. Take a look at Mrs. Kim Jong-un, Ri Sol-ju:

Here, she makes him look almost dashing:

Of course, this being North Korea, little is known about the elusive Ri Sol-ju. It is even suggested that Ri Sol-ju is not her real name, and that in reality she is Hyon Song-wol, formerly of the pop band the Pochonbo Electronic Ensemble. Her hits included the chart-toppers “I Love Pyongyang”, “She is a Discharged Soldier”, and more tellingly “Excellent Horse-Loving Lady”, whose lyrics are verging on the prophetic:

Our factory comrades say in jest,
Why, they tell me I am a virgin on a stallion,
After a full day’s work I still have energy left…

They say I am a virgin on a stallion,
Mounting a stallion my Dear Leader gave me.
All my life I will live to uphold his name!

Even less substantially, it has been charged that the group was executed by firing squad for making pornography, and that Mrs. Kim’s involvement has been covered up — this last tidbit via Wikipedia via a Japanese tabloid.

Taking a page from Elana Ceausescu’s book, she is reportedly pursuing a Ph.D. in science, and more likely, has given birth to a daughter.

Note that in most photos, she’s usually seen clapping:

While the previous Dear Leader Kims were never photographed with their wives, it has been suggested that Mrs. Kim is attempting to make the young Mr. Kim look older, as otherwise people would mistake him for a chubby little boy who wandered into the North Korean State Department while looking for a candy shop. Now, why would they feel it necessary to do that?…